Perils of assimilation

If only life came with subtitles.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

True Family

Getting coffee with Victoria always yields some new and interesting things to think about in my life. She percieves me as such a happy person, but that's only the side she sees when I'm with my friends. My friends make me happy, I consider them my family.

What most perceive as 'family' are those people who feel they HAVE to be there for you, while your friends are the people who actually WANT to be there for you. I sit down to Christmas dinner with a bunch of people who are practically strangers, only our genes binding us together. Maybe it's just because my immediate family are the recluses of the clan. My parents don't do any sort of social things, they keep to themselves for the most part, a tendency I have inherited along with crazy. I have only met my dad's side of the family a few times.

But at a family celebration, lke the Christmas dinner, I find myself yearning for my real family: Lila and Adam.

I have known Lila since first grade, and Adam since second. We were the weird kids who played together. Lila and I were the children of hippies, and Adam...thought he was from outerspace. Though I don't see them as often as I want, I feel incredibly close to them, and I don't keep things from them. Lila and I don't have to talk to have a conversation, and Adam always makes me feel better in his own little way. He doesn't dole out pity, or lectures, but will always just be there when you need him. He is my partner in crime, there isn't much I don't know about him. I know about every crush he's ever had, and who he's had sex dreams about. Lila and I have been through some tense and scary shit together, but we always come out of it ok. We have so many shared memories, and shared dreams. If ever I get an awful feeling about some thing, she is the first person I call because there is no one else I am so connected to.

There are some newer people in my family, too. Caroline for instance, who knows exactly what to say to make me feel better, and has gotten me out of some tight spots. Marc, who is always willing to bail me out even at 3 in the morning. Lucy is my person. She is who I would call if ever I needed help burying a body, or if I got pregnant. We've only been friends for a short while, but I trust her with my life. Jessie is one of the kindest people I have ever met, and incredibly full of compassion and grace. David is like my Eau Claire Adam, always ready for a new harebrained scheme to try out. L. means alot to me, even though we are 400 miles apart. He is there for me the best he can, I know, and I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for my true family.

ya know, not to get sappy on you all, an' everything.


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