sonofabitch!

I always make elaborate plans for travel, save up enough money to actually carry out my plans, and something always stops me last minute. This time I had thought I was actually going to make it.

Oh how wrong I was. Looks like I will be staying in Wisconsin for the rest of my life, because there doesn't seem to be any way out.

I have been dreaming of travelling for so long. It's been the only thing on my mind since I was fourteen. Being somewhere entirely new, exciting, strange and foreign. I had made plans to travel to New Orleans in September. I had it all ready to be set in motion.

My family will never forgive me if I am out of state when grandpa dies. I realize how selfish I am by wanting to continue with my plans.

I can't just leave, not when my family needs me. But right now, it's a waiting game. If I leave, family obligation will weigh on me, I will have to be able to return to Wisconsin at a moment's notice, costing more money than I even have. If I don't leave, I will regret taking my chance. I will regret being selfish, I will regret not being selfish.

The last time, I halted all my plans for Europe, that was three years ago. The doctors were wrong then, why can't they be wrong now?