Ohhh, Life

I'm in the wrong business. You see, I have a job that requires me to deal with people, and I HATE people. They're needy and rude. I used to be incredibly shy, and I couldn't talk to people. I hated talking to teachers, I hardly talked to classmates, which meant I got picked on more. Eventually, around the time I started high school, I got over it. Now, I seem to have developed mini panic attacks everytime I have to talk to someone. I go to into the kitchen's walk-in cooler to hide from everyone, even my co-workers. Eventually the cooks come and find me to boot me out of their cooler, and out I go! They're starting to catch on to my hiding habits, I think. I wish I worked in the kitchen, less people, better music. And you would think spending time at home would be better. I hate being home because of the anxiety I have even talking to my family. I can't handle being around people, it's enough to make me adopt the ways of a hermit. I don't know what to do about this, because I can't talk to anyone about my silent panic attacks BECAUSE of my silent panic attacks.

Conversely, I am even lonelier than ever. I don't have many friends here, Lila lives in Racine, Marc and I never hang out if it's just the two of us, and Adam... let's just say I need more responsible friends.

You know the R.E.M. song "Losing my Religion," with Micheal Stipe wailing, "Ohhhh, Life!" Someone I used to work with used to wander around moaning that line. I get it now.

Ohhhh, Life.