I feel a dire need to escape.

I told L. this and got this in reply:

me too. jesus christ me too. i've got a week and two days left for school. this week i'm finishing the end of semester comp exam, next week i have shitloads of reading and two papers due the sunday, dec 17. then, and only then am i free from the social expectation of who i am to be. fuck liz, how who what why the fuck are you these days, what fucking keeps you going. i think maybe i could use it.

your friend
the tortured wonder

How who what why the fuck am I these days? That is a very good question. I don't know.
What the fuck keeps me going? I don't know. everything I do seems so futile, I don't know why I do it. Will doing my physics homework change the world? not in the slightest. The only reason I do it is so I can stay in college, and I'm not sure why I even want to stay. I hate my theatre class, which is something I SHOULD love. But I don't want to give it up as my major because to me that means selling out. I'm dying. College is killing me.