Perils of assimilation

If only life came with subtitles.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Myspace Surveys

Ok, I realize that these are the things you do when you're bored, but when you post 3+ everyday, it's time to get a life.

45 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about someone
[First off, if Kulp was reading this he would have a meltdown, screaming" that is an abuse of the word 'random'!" And guess what kiddies, Kulp is right. And so to spare his sensibilities, let's all respect 'random' from now on]

whats your name spelt backwards?: [ how is this 'random'? I would ask this in a normal conversation]

What did you do last night?: [do you have a life?]

The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?: [who cares?]

Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?: [ this question here is there so people can judge just how smart you are. Or how persuasive your friends are, like the time we convinced Adam to lick the electic fence.]

What are you wearing?: [kinda stalker-y, no?]

How many cars have you owned?: [how rich/destructive are you?]

Are you registered to vote?: [are you responsible for the ban going through? i hate you.]

Do you have cable?: [No, I don't have time for some mind-numbing box watching]

What kind of computer do you use?: [What do brand names matter?]

Ever made a prank phone call?: [how immature are you?]

You like anyone right now?: [now these sort of questions bug the shit out of me. If someone does like someone, they'll generally keep it private or else they're desperate. Also, Questions about relationship status annoy me. Who cares? if someone is your friend, they'll know, so don't publicize how miserably single you are. And if you are miserably single stop whining about it, you don't need another person to define who you are]

Do u know all the words to the national anthem?: [are you patriotic?]

Best movie you've seen in the past month?: [let's advertise, shall we?]

What cell phone provider do you have?: [ooo...more brand names]

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?: [how vain are you?]

Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?: [it better be someone cool, or else we'll stop talking to you!]

Who is your longest friend and how long?: [do you have firends?]

Have you ever won a trophy?: [ are you athletic/smart/or exceptional? because you're a nobody without a trophy.]

Favorite arcade game?:[where do you waste your time?]

Ever ordered from an infomercial?: [are you greedy?]

Sprite or 7-UP?: {are brands important to you?]

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work? [do you conform?]

Last thing you bought at Walgreens?: {consumerism is our god...]

Do you believe in love at first sight?: [what to hook those hopeless romantics, eh?]

SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?: [why is this in capitals? is it truly vital to the survey? and I have no idea who the second one is]

What message is on your voicemail machine?:[ 'cause it better be funny, bitch]

here would you like to go right now?: [guess what? you can't get there! hahahahaha]

What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?: [what does that matter? I, however, like to port entire families of squirrels in my baby seal purse. what do YOU do?]


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