Typing, typing, typing

So I’ve been thinking about my guy situation in 2006. The thing is, I didn’t date any losers this year unlike before.

The first guy of 06 was positively the best relationship to date. We could talk about every thing and nothing, and just sit and be silent with each other. He is the only one I’ve loved. Just looking at him made me happy. He had a few faults, like never opening doors for me, but I was ok with them. Even his extremely hairy chest didn’t bug me (for the record, hairy chests still don’t bug me, as long as it’s soft). The break-up was mutual, and we are still very good friends. I’m over him, but I still love him. Love doesn’t go away, it just transforms. The break-up was really hard on me, and I’m glad David and Mike were there to see me through it.

David was not included on this list because he falls in the “Best Friend” category. Let me make it clear right now: I have never dated him. Enough confusion, people! He’s a really affectionate guy, and I trust him, that’s all. Yes, he did buy me panties, but that was because of the discussion Jessie, Dave, David, Doug, and I had over our panty collection. The boys were appalled by Jessie’s and mine’s sad panty collection. She’s got some cute stuff, but not me. Actually David and Doug have a more exciting panty collection than either of us. So Xilo took it in his own hands to improve my collection. (Xilo being David, btw)

Any other men and women I just so happened to make out with were also not included. Yes, women. I’m of the opinion that everyone is bi, some just take a bit more alcohol to come out. I’m really proud (ick, what a cliché word. But there isn’t a better one for it.) of my dear friend Allyn who has decided to make public that she’s bisexual. Bisexuality isn’t a big deal, but coming from such a conservative family, it’s hard for her to be accepted. I love Allyn, she’s great. I have no problem making out with women, sober or not, but I really can’t see myself in a relationship with a woman, or even just a sex thing. I just don’t get it: Where does the satisfaction come from? Eh, whatever floats your boat. That’s not to say I wouldn’t do Jessie, of course. That girl is fine.

I’ve gotten a little bit of a reputation as an exhibitionist lately. I don’t see anything wrong with that, it’s only around my friends whom I trust. I like it when my friends grope me (random people groping me is NOT cool, I have to trust some one before they are allowed to touch me) and I just really like kissing and touching. I’ve never really gotten much attention from people, and now that I have it, I like it. It’s a good ego boost, and I think that’s good for me, considering my low self-esteem (Ick, more “Psychiatrist” words.).

Now I realize that my brother sometimes reads my blog, so I’ll just have to trust him to keep his mouth shut, and if he has any desire to know the full story he can ask me, and I’ll tell him.

I think the reason I don’t sleep well when I’m at home is because I’m alone in that bed. I like sleeping next to people, it’s very comforting and I generally sleep better. I’ve slept in the same bed as several of my friends (David, Lucy, Bridget, to name a few), and I love cuddling. I mean I REALLY love cuddling. I like being held, it makes me feel happy and safe. When I stayed the weekend at Lucy’s house, I had a nice big bed all to myself, and I couldn’t help but thinking that it would be so much better with someone next to me.

I’m going through Lucy withdrawals. We hang out everyday and now I’m not going to see her for a month! No Sunday “morning” coffee for a month! AAAAAARRRGGHH!! We’ve got French 315 together next semester, at least. I can’t imagine having a French class with out her.

I got a B- in 202. I broke down and cried because I didn’t get my 16 credits for that class, after working my ass off for it. I also got a B- in Women’s Lit, which is surprising, considering I never turned in the paper that was worth a quarter of our grade. No word on whether I Failed Stagecraft or not. I probably won’t know my grade for another 2-3 weeks, Kevin is extremely lazy when is comes to grading things. I hated that class. The only classes worth going to were our labs. Even then it was boring as hell. But now I can use many types of power tools and a scale ruler. That’s about all the useful info I’ve gleaned from that fucking class. But I do know how to tie a noose now. We all learned to tie them so when we turned in our ropes after the final (there was a knot-tying unit, and that’s why we had rope) Kevin would know how we felt about his class.

Ack, I’m totally missing Adam right now. I have a picture of the cast of Dracula, and It’s the picture taken the day he forgot his costume, and Josie is standing in front of him to cover his folly. He’s such a clueless guy, I love him. Most of our friends had graduated the year before, so it was just Adam and I left over, and because we always did plays together, I was the one to drive him to rehearsals. He kind of became my best friend senior year. Lila went to Shimer senior year, and Caroline moved to Milwaukee. And he was always there when I needed someone (basically because he had to listen to my bitching, I was his ride).

I’m writing this on my laptop right now, and I have just realized that I can’t publish this post until I hook it up to the internet. Also to come: The Annual Christmas Rant!

Go to sleep now, Little Ugly
Go to sleep now, Little Fool
You’ll not feel the drowning,
You’ll not feel the drowning.