Perils of assimilation

If only life came with subtitles.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Stolen from Sheila

Worst Books Ever, or Five Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back

Sister Carrie. Ugh.
Anything by Garth Nix. He always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
The Grapes of Wrath

Books I Have Lied About Reading

If I say I've read it, I've read it. I have no need to lie about that.

Books I Have Lied About Liking

Every book that came after "Clan of the Cave Bear." I told my mom I loved them all because they're her favorites.

Book-to-Movie Adaptations Where, Frankly, the Movie Was Better

The Masterpiece Theatre version of "Wives and Daughters" and "Kidnapped"

Books I Used to Love, of Which I Am Now Ashamed

Anne of Green Gables

Best Book Titles of All Time

Infinite Jest

Resturant at the End of the Universe

Books That I Expected to Be Dirtier

The "Tropic" books

My Real Guilty-Pleasure Reads, and Not the Decoys I Talk About Openly

I still reread the "Young Adult" genre stuff from childhood.

Books You Must Read Before You Die, but Would Rather Die Than Read

Remembrance of Things Past

Books I Refused to Read for a Long Time Because too Many (or the Wrong) People Recommended Them

Crime and Punishment

Books I Read Only After Seeing the Movie

I usually pick up the book after seeing the Masterpiece Theatre version

Books I Most Often Try to Persuade Other People to Read

the "Tropic" books, Frankenstein

Authors I Wish Had Written More Books

Jane Austen

Overused Plot Points That Drive Me Nuts

Avenging a death

Books in Which I Liked the Secondary Characters Better Than the Main Character, or Books in Which I Wanted to Beat the Main Character Senseless with a Tire Iron


Books I Lied About Reading/Liking Solely to Look Smart/Pretentious

I don't really do that.

Literary Characters I've Developed Crushes On

Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice

The Creature from Frankenstein

Robert Frobisher from Cloud Atlas

Algernon from the Importance of Being Ernest

Books I Only Read to Impress Other People

I don't really do that.

Books I Shouldn't Admit Made Me Cry Like a Baby

I did not cry like a baby, but I did shed a tear or two during Frankenstein

Books People Keep Recommending That, Frankly, Sucked Ass

Anything by Anne Rice after The Vampire Lestat, Nicholas Sparks, James Patterson, Steinbeck

Books My Teacher Made Me Read That I Really, Really Liked

Anything from AP Lit.

Books My Teacher Made Me read That Made Me Question the Value of My Education

I was forced to read "Where the red Fern grows" in fifth grade. At that point in time, I started reading Shakespeare.

Books That Made Me Want to Have Sex with at Least One Character

I definitely would like to have sex with Mr. Darcy, and also Steerpike from Gormenghast.

Books I Actually Read but Got a Poorer Grade on the Paper I Wrote on the Subject Than My Best Friend Who Did Not Read the Book

Sister Carrie

Books I Read Because the Author Looked Hot


Books I Will Go to the Mattresses for, Even Though I Hate the Writer

I'll go to the mattress for a lot of things. I'll go to the mattress against censorship, against whiny anti-intellectual commentary (usually incorporating the word "latte" as though that is some kind of shorthand that we all can understand. Here's a hint: You look lazy when you use it too much. You look like an asshole. What the hell is wrong with "latte"? Unless you want to live in an echo chamber where everybody nods, and snickers about "latte" - and who knows, maybe you do - then you need to realize that that big huge CHIP you have on your shoulder about a certain kind of coffee drink makes me tune you out.) And maybe you don't care about having people listen to you. So be it. Just tellin' ya what it looks like over here. So writers who are attacked for THESE types of reasons ... as opposed to their books? I don't care WHAT they wrote. I'm sticking up for them. (These are Sheila's words, not mine. I don't even know what "Going to the mattress" means)

Books I Pretend to Like So People Won't Think I'm a Snob, or Books I Pretend to Like So I Won't Hurt Your Feelings

I'm ok with being seen as a snob.

Books with Covers So Embarrassing You Can't Read Them in Public
There aren't any. I read "Tropic" in the middle of Davies. I read "The Vagina Monologues" in the caf. The more lewd/weirder the cover, the more likely I will read it in a very public place.

Books You Are Sorry You Didn't Read Decades Ago

This question does apply very much, considering I'm only 18. (19 in a month!)


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