Forward from my dad
Just to mock da minnysotans, eh.
ANNOUNCEMENT: VE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTRAN AIR IS NOW
OPERATING FROM DULUTH AIRPORT. YA SHURE, YA BETCHA! DIS IS DA
LATEST AIR SERVICE TO SPROUT UP IN MINNYSOTA. ALSO SERVING
VISCONSIN, NORT
AND SOUT DAKOTA.
If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran Air, da no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin
is a upliftin experience. Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.
Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, hot dish, and 22-30, a dessert.
Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft. Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage.
All fares are by free will-offereing and da plane will not land 'til da budget is met.
Pay attention now to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da safety system aboard dis Lutran Air 599.
"Okay den, listen up you guys. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going
to be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because we fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure would
probably mean da Second Coming or something of dat nature, and I vouldn't bodar with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes. You're
gonna have bigger tings to vorry about den dat. Yust stuff doze back up in dair little holes.
Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two tousand
feet, sort a like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.
In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's Prayer and yust hope you get to da part about forgive
us our sins as we forgive doze who sin against us, which some people say "trespass against us," which isn't right, but vut can
you do?
Da use of cell phones on da plane is stri ctly forbidden, not because day may confuse da plane's navigation system, which is
seat of da pants all da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He
vould have put your mout on da side of your head.
Ve start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style wit da coffee pot up front . Den ve'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are
in da seat pocket in front of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go I am going to be real upset and I am not kiddin!
Right now I'll say Grace.
Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest
and let deze gifts to us be blessed.
Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost,
may we land in Dulut or pretty close. Amen!"
ANNOUNCEMENT: VE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTRAN AIR IS NOW
OPERATING FROM DULUTH AIRPORT. YA SHURE, YA BETCHA! DIS IS DA
LATEST AIR SERVICE TO SPROUT UP IN MINNYSOTA. ALSO SERVING
VISCONSIN, NORT
AND SOUT DAKOTA.
If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran Air, da no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin
is a upliftin experience. Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.
Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, hot dish, and 22-30, a dessert.
Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft. Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage.
All fares are by free will-offereing and da plane will not land 'til da budget is met.
Pay attention now to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da safety system aboard dis Lutran Air 599.
"Okay den, listen up you guys. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going
to be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because we fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure would
probably mean da Second Coming or something of dat nature, and I vouldn't bodar with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes. You're
gonna have bigger tings to vorry about den dat. Yust stuff doze back up in dair little holes.
Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two tousand
feet, sort a like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.
In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's Prayer and yust hope you get to da part about forgive
us our sins as we forgive doze who sin against us, which some people say "trespass against us," which isn't right, but vut can
you do?
Da use of cell phones on da plane is stri ctly forbidden, not because day may confuse da plane's navigation system, which is
seat of da pants all da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He
vould have put your mout on da side of your head.
Ve start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style wit da coffee pot up front . Den ve'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are
in da seat pocket in front of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go I am going to be real upset and I am not kiddin!
Right now I'll say Grace.
Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest
and let deze gifts to us be blessed.
Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost,
may we land in Dulut or pretty close. Amen!"
posted by Liz @ 8:10 PM
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