Perils of assimilation

If only life came with subtitles.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

On Vibrators-- or, Anne May Just Kill Me

So Anne has finally bought herself a vibrator. It wasn't her own idea, it was her boyfriend's. What is it about guys wanting women to have vibrators? Quite a few of my friends are rather perplexed that their boyfriends or even just a friend have pressured them to get one. Hell, I've been pressured to get one. What's the deal guys?

But anyhow this story is about Anne. We perused the selection in Spencer's for quite a while, until she, Beth, and Cassie had picked one out. Anne started freaking out, and was fainting as she was paying for it.

Why? WHY?

It seems she hates her vagina. This is so hard for me to comprehend. She finds it ugly and has major problems with looking at it. I know that some gay men believe that vaginas have teeth, so maybe she thinks that too? I also don't understand people who have a problem with masturbation. It is my belief that only dumb women haven't fiured out how to masturbate. Anne, you must learn to love your body.

Back in the Victorian Era (possibly the most sexually repressed era ever) doctors claimed that a quarter of all women suffered from "hysteria" (A word derived from the greek 'hystera' meaning uterus), for which the only cure was marriage or sex if already married. Hysteria included fainting, nervousness, PMS, and the "tendancy to cause trouble" (Wiki). And so the first electric vibrator was made in the 1880's to cure this hysteria.

What is even funnier is that the sale of vibrators is forbidden in Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Texas, Louisiana, Indiana, Virginia, and the one that totally shocked me--Massachusetts.

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